Please help? i feel so insecure and unhappy? girls only?

I hate the way I look. it's got worse and worse recently to the point that I can't sleep. it's bad enough that my brother has bad autism, I have trichotillomania, my family's a mess, school is horrible, exams are hard and im severely underweight. but THIS ON TOP? I can't take it. all my friends are c cups and I'm not even an aa. I'm a no-cup. it's a genetic thing so I know it won't change. My tummy is genetically fat and my shoulders genetically big so I feel like a man. HELP? I have an okay face and personality wise I'm okay but this affects me day in day out. just when it got worse my friends now start talking about boobs, how they are c's and double d's and drop dead gorgeous. over 30 guys have liked them- and it's not even an exaggeration! I feel uncomfortable talking to my councillor about my non-boobs. WHAT DO I DO? I have stuffing an inch or so thick and it's still barely a 36a, BARELY. I cry soooo much everyday! what foods can I eat? clothes? tricks? I can't buy a push up bra WITHOUT my mum knowing- and I can't order online in fear of her opening it. it's also �100 for a Victorias secret bra, so I can't until uni, where I'll have the freedom. I'm sick and tired of being the unproportioned stick, the ugly horrible skinned horrible everything kind of big nosed speck in the background.please give me answers! and please tell me if I will EVER get a guy to like me! not only this but i dont have great hair- i used to, but trichotillomania has ruined it. i dont have the best skin any more. i have a slight big nose. if i gain weight my big shoulders will become obvious- they arent right now because im so skinny. PLEASE HELP